Sunday, January 22, 2012

AFC Championship Game: the Greater Evil Prevails

Today's AFC Championship matchup between the US Department of Defen...ahem...excuse me...between the New England Patriots of the Ravens of Baltimore proved to be an entertaining game.

I was so thrilled to see that with 7 minutes to go in the 4th quarter and a modest, 3-point lead, the Patriots decided to throw a bomb to the end zone--into double coverage--on 1st down.  This showing of greed and false bravado on part of Belichick and Brady bore chilling resemblance to one of our nation's most embarrassing media/foreign relations/war stunts.  Announcing victory before completing the job!

Q: Why not just hold onto the ball and run the clock?

A: Cuz that just ain't the American way!!!  We gotta show 'em it wasn't a contest to begin with!

Luckily however, it was a very close and substantial battle.  In fact, the Ravens should have won the game!  Dropping balls in the end zone and missing field goals are Steeler-esque mistakes and I share in the sudden shock that the Ravens and their fans are surely feeling.

If you're still reading this after my military-sports complex metaphors, congratulations! You are about to be handsomely rewarded.  I've always suspected that you may be able judge the quality of a team's leadership by the superfluous entertainment company they keep in their luxury boxes and on the victory platform.  Who's that on the left-hand side of the frame?

And creepin up on Belichick?

Eww gross!  I could tell Steven Tyler's hair had ambitions!

How embarrassing!

Good thing our unofficial team mascot is this guy:

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